Failure

I feel like a failure. I just can't seem to get back on track and follow my diet. I know that I am killing myself-literally. I have to lose weight because of my health. I was doing so well. I lost 35 pounds and have gained it all back except for 10 pounds.

I still want to use prayer and meditation to help. This is what I want to do. I will meditate, listen to spiritual tapes, pray for help and guidance, continue to exercise, journal, use EFT (emotional freedom technique) and make a food plan. I am going to ask Patricia for my Eat to Live book back and follow that diet for six weeks. That is about how many weeks that I have until I go on vacation so that will be good.

So....here is my plan for tomorrow on:

Mon-Thursday
5:00 Rise, shower and meditate
6:15 Get Al ready to go to work
6:30 Take Al to train
7:00 Walk/go to Curves
9:00 Go home, shower, eat cereal fruit/green salad/nuts (listen to tape), go to library to work
12:00 Go home, meditate
1:00 Eat Salad (listen to tape)
2:00 Go to Panera's to work
4:00 Meditate
5:00 Exercise tape
6:00 Pick up Al; eat Soup
8:00 Meditate and go to bed

Friday
5-9 Same
9:00 Eat fruit/greens (tape), Housework and laundry
12:00 Eat salad (tape)
1:00 Go to library to work
3:30 Meditate
4:30 Exercise tape
6:00 Pick up Al; eat soup
8:00 Meditate

Saturday
5 Rise, shower, meditate
6:30 Go for walk or bike ride
8:00 Eat fruit/greens (tape)
9:00 Work (either volunteer or house project
1:00 Movie or something fun
5:00 Go to Center to meditate
10:00 Bed

Sunday
5 Rise, shower and meditate
6:30 Go for a walk or bike ride
8:00 Eat fruit/greens (tape)
9:00 Work (either volunteer or house project)
10:30 Go to Center if there is a meeting
12:30 Go to Center if no meeting to meditate
4:00 Eat (soup & salad)
5:00 Do something fun with Al (movie? walk? TV?)
8:00 Meditate, bed

I am also going to fit in reading about controlling my demons and doing EFT. I will do that at the times that I listed where I have tape mentioned. This will be an option instead of a spiritual tape.

I am praying to God to give me the strength to do this. I am powerless over food and without the help of the Higher Power, I will never make it.